Welcome to Whine-Fest...

Remember how I'm 25 and in the "prime" of my life? I don't feel 25. I feel about 75. Let me explain. My little family of three somehow manages to have all sorts of weird/rare medical things happen to us. In order to do whine-fest justice, I need to start back in July of 2006.

-July 2006: After being married only two months, Jordan is on a swing that goes out over a ravine. The swing breaks, Jordan falls 65 feet and by the grace of God survives (albeit with a broken back, ribs, shoulder, and sternum. Oh, and he managed to completely scalp himself). One ambulance ride and hospital stay later and we end up living in my parent's house up to our eyeballs in debt.

-July 2009: We find out that our little baby in utero is in distress. After nine months of horrible bilateral sciatic pain, I end up having an emergency c-section three weeks before Lucy is due.

-May 2010: Lucy falls off the bed with a comb in her mouth. The comb punctures the back of her throat ending up in a four-day hospital stay. Just finished paying this one off.

-October/November 2010: The real fun begins for me. It all starts with a horrible case of strep throat. All three of us get sick and end up on anti-biotics. About a week later I wake up with an odd, itchy rash on my chest and face. The rash begins to spread. Two days later I wake up, go to walk to the bathroom and my right foot hurts so badly I can barely walk. I have no logical explanation as to why my foot hurts. I give in after four days of pain and finally go to see a podiatrist. There I find out that I have an extra bone in my foot, and that the tendon running underneath it is horribly inflamed (aka tendonitis). The podiatrist puts me in a bulky ankle brace and prescribes me steroids and anti-inflammatories. In the meantime my rash has spread from my chest and face to my scalp, behind my ears, inside my ears, my arms, my stomach, my back, my legs, and it's HORRIBLY itchy. I go to see a dermatologist thinking I'm having an allergic reaction to something. "Have you had strep recently?", she asks. "Yes," I respond. "Well, I don't have great news for you then." Apparently I have a rare form of strep-induced or Guttate Psoriasis. It is an autoimmune disorder that occurs in young adults after a bad strep infection. The dermatologist then informs me that there is a possibility that this rash could go away in the next 4-6 weeks, or it could develop into Plaque Psoriasis--a lifelong, awful skin condition. She then cracks open her textbook and shows me pictures of people who are horribly disfigured by Plaque Psoriasis. "But don't freak out," she says. Right. She then prescibes 5 creams/ointments/serums that I'm supposed to put on everyday and tells me to go tanning 1-2 times/week because UVB rays are supposed to help Guttate Psoriasis. I leave the appointment feeling completely discouraged. In the meantime I'm taking the steroids for my foot which result in nasty heartburn and stomach problems. Also, the anti-biotics I took for the strep have left me with a yeast infection and diarrhea. Well, I decide to get a second opinion about my Guttate Psoriasis, so I go to a dermatologist in Salt Lake. He tells me that I definitely have Guttate Psoriasis, but that he has rarely seen it turn into Plaque Psoriasis. Whew. However, he tells me that I'm an unusual case, because the rash on my face does not match the rash on the rest of my body. He then prescribes MORE anti-biotics and MORE steroids, which will further screw up my digestive tract. Now, I would love to go ahead and take these pills, but, unfortunately there is more trouble in River City. I woke up this morning and I have some form of the flu. I have been puking all morning and feeling really sorry for myself. I have already spent 200 dollars in CO-PAYS in the last 30 days. Now would be a good time for someone to take me down to the vet and have me put to sleep. How's that for whiny?