Remember this book?
From the time Alexander wakes up, nothing seems to go right for him. He feels frustrated and grumpy all day.
Well, Alex has nothing on my day.
Why??
Because he doesn't have kids.
Let me explain.
Have you ever tried to get a passport expedited? I am going to Canada with my mom at the end of this month to visit my relatives. It was only when booking our flights that I came to the realization that Charlie needed a passport. I quickly got online and found a service that expedites passports. All you had to do was gather a ridiculous amount of paperwork and send it in. Easy, right? Saturday I was Little Miss Proactive and gathered all the necessary paperwork and even managed to get passport photots taken of my four month old--no small feat. I stacked all the documents and photos neatly on our desk downstairs, ready to take them in Monday morning.
Last night (Sunday) we had a big superbowl party at our house. I went downstairs to grab something and noticed that Charlie's passport photos were missing from the desk. I started rifling through the papers on the desk when it dawned on me that one of the many kids playing in the basement had probably taken them. I walked into the adjacent playroom and sure enough, there was one of the two pictures laying on the ground. I found the case that the pictures had been in with bite marks all over it. Not good.
After searching the house high and low, we were never able to find the second picture. My guess is that it was eaten. Seriously.
This morning I got up bright and early to continue the process. I called Walgreen's, and luckily they still had the pictures on file and would reprint them for me. The last thing I needed to do was have someone at the post office verify the documents so I could send them to be processed. Since Charlie is a minor, both Jordan and I would have to be there. I started calling the post office at 9:00 AM, only to be ignored. I must have called 10 times, before I realized that no one would answer the phone. I guess I was going to have to drag my kids down to the post office, and wait in line just to make an appointment to come back. I did just that. After waiting in line I finally was able to talk to someone about making an appointment. The lady looks at me and says, "The earliest appointment we have is April 4th."
Come again?
April 4th?!? I explained to her that I needed an expedited passport and she handed me a paper with the address of the nearest post office that didn't require appointments for passports. It was in Cummings, GA--no less than a three hour drive round trip. I begged the lady to please just make an exception and fit me in and she refused. I called Jordan to tell him that I needed him to come with me to Cummings to sign the paperwork. Jordan is in the middle of accounting busy season, which means he leaves for work around 8:00 AM and comes home at 9:30 PM on a good night. He told me that he was unable to make the trip because both the manager and the partner were there, and that I would need to figure something else out.
In the meantime I had driven over to the Walgreens to pick up the reprinted passport photos. Charlie started wailing because he was hungry, so I put the car in park and left the battery on so Lucy could watch a movie while I nursed Charlie. After Charlie was fed, I started putting him back in his carseat when Lucy started crying about wanting fruit snacks. I was feeling frazzled and on my last nerve when I went to start the car.
Nothing.
"This day just keeps getting better," I thought. Well, at least I have my portable jumper cable unit that I always keep in the back of my car.
Wrong again.
Last week, a girl in the ward had car issues and needed to borrow the electrical unit. The only time I ever need my car jumped, and I don't have the jumper cables. A saint of a man could see that I was in distress and asked several people if they had jumper cables in their cars. The first three people didn't, but a nice old man had some and jumped the car for me. During all of this, Lucy is WAILING in the backseat for fruit snacks.
In the meantime, Jordan has located a company the next town over that does expedited passports. I called and made an appointment for the next day. This means that I now need to call the other company back to get a refund for services they never really provided. While I'm on the phone trying to get my money refunded both of my kids are howling at me.
Even though I have fussy kids, I still have two more errands to run. I get them done as quickly as humanly possible and run back home to put on comfy clothes and indulge in some chocolate. As I'm unbuckling Charlie I can smell that he has pooped, and think, "Wouldn't that just be great if he has one of his epic blowouts?" I carried him back to his changing table and set him down to see this:
....Which was the result of this:
Poo. Was. Everywhere.
It took me awhile to get everything all cleaned up, and both kids down for naps. They both slept for a couple of hours (thank heavens). When Charlie woke up, he had blown out again. This time while I was changing him, he waited for me to take off his diaper to start peeing. I got the pee and poop all wiped up just in time for him to pee again.
Sigh. Two loads of laundry later and I'm ready to call it a night.
Then Jordan calls.
The client wants to issue the financial statements a week earlier than planned. He'll probably be working even later this week.
That Thai basil chicken recipe I was going to try tonight.....
Probably not. Cold cereal it is.
