Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Reflections....
So, we're back from McCall. I had heard from several sources that you should go on at least one getaway (just the two of you) before your baby comes. I must say that I whole-heartedly agree. Our trip to McCall was perfect. You're probably thinking, "Didn't you just come back from a week-long vacation in Lake Powell and 10 days in Washington D.C.?" Yes...and while both of those vacations were fun, they weren't exactly relaxing. It was so nice to be able to spend five days with just Jordan. We did a whole lot of relaxing, napping, talking, watching movies, and cruising the lake on the patio boat. I had kind of a weird moment while there. We were taking a nap, and Jordan was cuddling me. All of a sudden I realized that everything is going to change within the next six weeks. We aren't going to be just 'Jordan and Laura' anymore. We are going to be 'Jordan and Laura and the baby'. I have to admit that there was a real sadness for me as I realized how different things are going to be. How can I possibly love another person as much as I love Jordan? Jordan and I are so close....is having a baby going to be a huge strain on our relationship, or will it bring us closer? I understand that at this point I can't comprehend the love that I'm going to feel for my little girl, and I am so excited to meet her. But, if I'm being honest, I'm feeling a little apprehensive. Am I crazy for feeling this way? How has the addition of children changed your marriage?
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11 comments:
I remember feeling that way. To be honest I feel that way now when I wonder how it is possible to love another child as much as the first? But I will tell you this. Yes there will be times when having a child puts a strain on your marriage. You will be exhausted and sometimes spread so thin that just getting through the day is all you can do. But because you love each other and you have a good relationship you will know that you are in this experience together and the hard times are a lot easier to get through when you do it as a team. And trust me...when that little girl comes out and they place her soggy little body in your arms and you look at her angel face you will experience a love you have NEVER felt before. And all your worries about change and apprehension about loving another human being will vanish. I can't wait for you to have that happen. Your life will never be the same. But in a better way...
I remember feeling the same way before I had Eliza, and then feeling the same way before I had William- (scared that I couldn't love another child as much as I loved Eliza.) To be perfectly honest, it really does change everything. It flips your world upside down and everything looks different- even your marriage, and you can't even imagine how life used to look! So yes, you are in a special time with Jordon right now, and yes it is going to change, but then you know you would never go back. You will look back and think "weren't we lonely back then with just the two of us, or just the three of us?" I can't believe you are having a baby, for some reason even though I already have two it makes me feel old that you are going to be a Mom. You will do such an awesome job- I'm so excited for you!
Love,
Mary
Laura, thanks for posting on my blog you were the first in a long, so I feel less of a loser now that I can a comment! I would LOVE to come to your baby shower! You can drop that money off at my moms house or Matt's house. Either one--I don't live at my mom's anymore, but she will know what it is for! I know exactly what you mean. Jared and I just got back from Moab, just the two of us. It is more rare these days, but when we make the time for each other is the same as it was before Jude. Babies absolutely change things, but I think the two of you just have to put a little more effort into making time for each other. I was just thinking this week that we all have so many limitations in this life, time, money, strength, energy, resources, etc. Bu the Lord is so smart. The only thing I know of that I don't have a limit on is how much love I have to give. It's a cheezy thought, but so true. On thing Jared and I did before we had the baby was to just talk about it. What we were scared of and excited for. That way I knew what Jared was worried about and I made an extra effort to help him, comfort him, or laugh at him in that particular area of parenting. We also made a pact that if Jared was feeling neglected or just need some attention from me, he would let me know and vice versa, again cheezy, but it really helped that we knew we could talk about it instead of building it up and feeling like the baby came between us. I think Jared and I are so much closer from having a baby together. Kids are always cute, but when it is your own it doesn't get any better than that! Anyway, my sister and her 5 kids just moved into your ward. My nieces are all very tall and two are redheads, you can't miss them. I told them to say hello to you for me next Sunday. See you soon.
It definately changes some things, some for the better, and some that take a lot of getting used to. After Emmalee was born, Greg had a little bit of a freak out. I was lying there being sewn up and he was up in the nursery with this little human being that he hardly knew, but that had just completely changed his life. He felt this immediate anxiety and longing to be with me.. I was surprisingly peaceful and full of the most amazing amounts of love. Don't worry Lar.. there are still times when I think of what life was like with just Greg and I, but then I immediately feel incomplete thinking of life without Em. And don't even get me started on my fear of not loving other children as much as her!
A child brings a spirit into your life that you could never imagine. I loved having Paul in my life. Having him changed me forever. When I first saw him I felt love for him right away.The love a parent has for their child is the same way our Heavenly Father loves us. He loves us know matter what. He will lift us up when we are down and he will be with us when we our happy. I know as a parent I would do anything for my child and I am so happy that I can call myself a mom. You are going to love being a mom. Don't be scared. Because when that little girl is in your arms you will know you did the right thing.
i have no words of wisdom to add to these great comments except your belly is hot!
agreed! they've said it all! all of your trips look like they were a ton of fun! awesome to get them all in before the baby comes because your life will definitely be changing ... but it is SO worth it! being a mom is the best! you will be such a great mom too!
so i think we will be coming home from spain the day of your shower ... BOO! i want to come SO bad. i will double check though and let you know!
I have to say ditto to Mary and Jen's posts. Your realationship with Jord will change, but change isn't a bad word. You guys will experience a new love for each other watching one another be mom and dad to your children. As Jen said, you will experience a kind of love you have never felt before when you see that baby girl! And the fun part is, you feel it everytime another one is born. You can't possibly imagine having enough room in your heart to love everyone, but trust me, you do. You're life will never be the same, but don't make the mistake of trying to get the feeling of "life with just you and Jord" back...it's not coming back. Having a baby means change, and this is now your life....and oh what a great one it is!! The key is to embrace it and change with it. Love you so much and can't wait to meet that beautiful baby girl ( unless she looks like Jord, then she won't be so cute). Love you too Gordon!
Your love for Jordan and your little girl will just GROW! You won't believe how much love you'll have your little baby. It's wonderful! Enjoy the last few months of sleeping in and doing whatever you want. :)
I can't wait to meet your baby! You're gonna be a great mom. I kind of know what you mean about the whole change thing, I recently feel like Steve and I have had something like a child- it's called MIT. Haha, but seriously we are going through changes right now too and it's kind of tough but some things have already gotten better... Now I am rambling- Love you good luck with the last bit of pregnancy!
Laura! You look so good, congratulations. How fun, I am so excited for you. I hope the last little while goes by fast.
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